Military and Child Abuse
November 26, 2009 by Diane
I recently watched the Senate Homeland Security Committee conduct hearings about the Fort Hood massacre. The gist of their questions to the panel of experts was: why wasn’t information shared among federal agencies and the military about the shooter’s questionable activities? If information had been shared, perhaps this tragedy wouldn’t have happened.
I ask myself the same question about domestic violence and child abuse when it occurs in a military family—especially when the abuser leaves the service. Local law enforcement agencies or other organizations are not notified of their previous crimes. Why is that? I personally know of an enlisted man in the military who was convicted of sexually abusing his young daughter. He was convicted, had to serve time in jail (a work release program), but was not kicked out of the military. He is now retired and receives a nice pension. Who knows how many other children he has molested since then.
The same goes for domestic violence. This type of family history is not shared with local agencies or law enforcement either while a person is in the military or after they get out.
Why is it that the public doesn’t have a right to know about these abusers’ violent pasts? After all, homeland security begins in the home.
I don’t have the answer, but I would be interested in your thoughts.
This entry was posted on Thursday, November 26, 2009 at 7:34 am and is filed under Military. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
March 22, 2010 at 9:56 pm
I am one of those who was mentally abused, verbally, during my childhood. “You’re stupid, you’ll never amount to anything, an education is not right for you, you’re not fit for any woman, etc.” Sometimes I have flashbacks, even though I have been married to the same precious woman for 47 years. Physical abuse heals but mental abuse lasts a lifetime. You have to fight to keep back the echos that degrade, dehumanize and demoralize your character. My wife and children have been the light of my life, to encourage, sustain and comfort; God has been the lamp on my path to sooth the pain. I am grateful for what I have. I have learned the hard way that no one will ever care more than those who have themselves been abused. No one will ever understand the tears, they can only sympathize. I came from a home where I was not wanted because I was born with a cleft lip. I was a disgrace to my mother but my father got me the best surgeon in the country. However, I was used as a political football between my mother and my father. My father blamed my mother and she blamed him. Believe me, I understand abuse.
I hope I have been able to help the understanding of why we are not recognized. I have spent 47 years looking behind the scenes to find answers to our present world dilemma and why some of us are always left behind.
Please forgive me if I seemed to be on a soapbox. It was not intended as such.
In understanding,
James Mc Coy
mccoyjr_1@msn.com
March 23, 2010 at 6:34 am
I hear your pain and appreciate your comments. It is hard to deal with people’s denial about such a difficult and life-destroying issue, but it is good that you have shared your experiences. The more other people hear what we, as survivors, have been through, the better. Maybe that will open people’s eyes.
August 26, 2010 at 11:16 am
My father was a military career man. Both he and my mother were abusive. My father just physically abusive, my mother both emotionally and physically abusive. No one ever wondered why I was the way I was back then in school. You are right, they don’t question it. There were enough signs, but it seems either awareness wasn’t there or it was just accepted as ‘discipline’. I don’t know. But, for nearly 40 years I’ve been in denial off and on over my feelings for my parents. Only now, that they have a crisis in their lives, that they turn to me for support, and I am having a very hard time wanting to be there for them. I am trying to deal with how I feel about a lifetime of neglect and hardships because of them. Hence why I am here on this site searching for support of how I am feeling..
August 26, 2010 at 2:37 pm
It is difficult to face the fact that you were made the scapegoat for your parents’ inadequacies when growing up. There is a big difference between supporting your parents now (who are adults) with their crisis and their abandonment of loving care for you when you were a child. You had nowhere to turn and were trapped. Only you can make the best decision for yourself as to how much you want to invest emotionally in supporting your parents now versus working on your own recovery. I hope you have other sources of support to deal with this and will not have to face this issues alone, as you did when a child.