We Are Adult Survivors of Child Abuse and Neglect

The most significant factor within a child’s life is his/her relationship (i.e., attachment) to his/her parents. Within our society, this attachment is typically a mother infant/child relationship, because most fathers have not yet taken equal responsibility for the caretaking of young children.

It is the need and goal of the human infant to establish and maintain an ongoing relationship with an adult caretaker. Through this relationship, the infant is able to meet his/her physical needs (warmth, nutritional sustenance, protection, etc.) and begin to develop predictable patterns of behavior that influence later aspects of his/her development. Typically, this relationship is very predictable and responsive (e.g., as in parents reacting to the cries of their infant).

In the case of a physically abusive parent, the infant’s attachment to the parent disrupts the child’s internal beliefs of him/herself and his/her world. As a result, a child develops a perception of him/herself as incompetent, feels bad about him/herself, and considers him/herself unworthy of the love of another. Additionally, a pattern may develop of expecting pain or injury from others, distrusting closeness, and being wary or suspicious of others.

During the first year of life, abused infants learn to accommodate their abuser’s behavior without complaint. By establishing a pattern of behavior that transforms anger to superficial cooperation, many infants and older children become passive, fearful, vigilant and compliant. Consequently, often maltreated children look unhappy and take little pleasure from their environment. Abused children are limited in their ability to perceive their own and other children’s intentions and actions, and they may have difficulty interpreting the emotional expressions of others.

An interpersonal characteristic observed in many older physically abused children is that they engage in actions that serve to meet the needs of their parents by providing some caregiving. Additionally, these children may also provide similar caregiving to younger children within the family. Role reversal offers a means for the child to acquire positive meaning and appreciation within his/her life and yet maintain closeness to the attached parent.

Physically abused children tend to interact with their peers either by being overly hostile and aggressive or be exhibiting excessive withdrawal and avoidance of other children. Whether aggressive of avoidant, it appears that physically abused children frequently have significant problems in their ability to develop and sustain peer relationships.

Both verbal and physically aggressive behavior can be exhibited by physically abused children. The process of being raised in an environment in which physical abuse is used as a common response to problems, feelings, and conflicts impairs several important developmental functions (e.g., problem-solving, accepting delayed gratification, and impulse control). Therefore, when placed in a situation in which he/she experiences conflict or a problem, some abused children resort to some type of verbal or physical hostility as a means to a resolution or to fulfill his/her unmet needs.  The reasons for these behaviors may include displaced parental anger, increased vigilance and the expectation of aggression from others, social modeling of aggressive problem-solving, and a limited range of conflict resolution abilities.

In my next blog, I’ll talk about child sexual abuse.