Comments on: The Response to Child Abuse Trauma http://www.wearesurvivors.org/?p=1099 Sat, 4 Sep 2010 23:42:37 -0400 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Diane http://www.wearesurvivors.org/?p=1099&cpage=1#comment-375 Diane Sun, 18 Apr 2010 22:52:41 +0000 http://www.wearesurvivors.org/?p=1099#comment-375 It is wise to trust your gut feelings. When you are ready and feel confident that the person you want to talk to about your abuse is someone who is respectful and supportive, then you can make that decision. It is wise to trust your gut feelings. When you are ready and feel confident that the person you want to talk to about your abuse is someone who is respectful and supportive, then you can make that decision.

]]> By: calliehere http://www.wearesurvivors.org/?p=1099&cpage=1#comment-370 calliehere Sun, 18 Apr 2010 04:11:42 +0000 http://www.wearesurvivors.org/?p=1099#comment-370 I don't trust any of my family or friends with the information of what happened. I tried telling a friend when I was young and she didn't believe me. Of course I realize now that I should have told an adult but I couldn't. Now, I'm in therapy, but I still can't tell anyone. I don't want to have to deal with others who I have to see on a daily basis. The abuser was the teen son of a family friend who my family is still in contact with. I don't really trust anyone with the information. I don’t trust any of my family or friends with the information of what happened. I tried telling a friend when I was young and she didn’t believe me. Of course I realize now that I should have told an adult but I couldn’t. Now, I’m in therapy, but I still can’t tell anyone. I don’t want to have to deal with others who I have to see on a daily basis. The abuser was the teen son of a family friend who my family is still in contact with. I don’t really trust anyone with the information.

]]> By: Diane http://www.wearesurvivors.org/?p=1099&cpage=1#comment-300 Diane Thu, 25 Feb 2010 19:33:25 +0000 http://www.wearesurvivors.org/?p=1099#comment-300 It is good to hear that you are clear about working on your own needs. That's a great step in breaking away from years of conditioning and of validating for yourself that your needs come first. If you go to the "Contact Us" page on my website and send me an email back channel, I can work to hopefully find someone who can help you. It is good to hear that you are clear about working on your own needs. That’s a great step in breaking away from years of conditioning and of validating for yourself that your needs come first. If you go to the “Contact Us” page on my website and send me an email back channel, I can work to hopefully find someone who can help you.

]]> By: briansounds1 http://www.wearesurvivors.org/?p=1099&cpage=1#comment-299 briansounds1 Thu, 25 Feb 2010 19:14:00 +0000 http://www.wearesurvivors.org/?p=1099#comment-299 Thanks for answering me and I love your website! What support do you know of in the NYC area? I'm going to move up there. I'm getting away from my household and I'm going to break the chain of learned dependence. I think the toxicity I'm experiencing the most right now is the sensation that although certain people tell me they want me to do things by myself, it seems as though they are still trying to control whatever I do when it is convenient. Example... I say I've chosen to do something, and someone (like my dad) might say, "There is no reason to ever do that/ You should never do that/ You should do this instead" like an ultimatum... ultimately the impression I get is that the "only" way to do things is my father's way. As if he created the laws of motion, or something. I won't have to deal with that eating me now. Thanks for answering me and I love your website! What support do you know of in the NYC area? I’m going to move up there. I’m getting away from my household and I’m going to break the chain of learned dependence. I think the toxicity I’m experiencing the most right now is the sensation that although certain people tell me they want me to do things by myself, it seems as though they are still trying to control whatever I do when it is convenient. Example… I say I’ve chosen to do something, and someone (like my dad) might say, “There is no reason to ever do that/ You should never do that/ You should do this instead” like an ultimatum… ultimately the impression I get is that the “only” way to do things is my father’s way. As if he created the laws of motion, or something. I won’t have to deal with that eating me now.

]]> By: Diane http://www.wearesurvivors.org/?p=1099&cpage=1#comment-293 Diane Wed, 17 Feb 2010 11:53:19 +0000 http://www.wearesurvivors.org/?p=1099#comment-293 Thank you for reaching out. Everything you said is true not only for yourself, but for the tens of millions of other survivors in America. That is why I started this website. It is very discouraging to not get the support you need. I'm very happy to hear that your sister is there for you. Hang onto that. It all begins with staying true to yourself and not buying into the brainwashing you received as a child. I believe the main reason families remain silent is to protect the perpetrators in the family. That in and of itself is not only being unmerciful to the victim(s) but is criminal behavior. It is no different from the Catholic church protecting the child molesters in their congregations. And yet, everyone continues to remain silent and to allow survivors to shoulder the shame. I don't do that anymore, and by you standing up for yourself, you don't have to either. I hope you are able to get some professional help. Hang in there. You are on the right track. Thank you for reaching out. Everything you said is true not only for yourself, but for the tens of millions of other survivors in America. That is why I started this website. It is very discouraging to not get the support you need. I’m very happy to hear that your sister is there for you. Hang onto that. It all begins with staying true to yourself and not buying into the brainwashing you received as a child. I believe the main reason families remain silent is to protect the perpetrators in the family. That in and of itself is not only being unmerciful to the victim(s) but is criminal behavior. It is no different from the Catholic church protecting the child molesters in their congregations. And yet, everyone continues to remain silent and to allow survivors to shoulder the shame. I don’t do that anymore, and by you standing up for yourself, you don’t have to either. I hope you are able to get some professional help. Hang in there. You are on the right track.

]]> By: briansounds1 http://www.wearesurvivors.org/?p=1099&cpage=1#comment-292 briansounds1 Wed, 17 Feb 2010 02:43:16 +0000 http://www.wearesurvivors.org/?p=1099#comment-292 No trust, no control- I feel exactly that way. "Instead, they are made to feel like something is wrong with them, the victims, instead of holding the perpetrators accountable." My family is doing that to me. Only my sister really has any faith in what I'm saying. It seems like on the internet I can find resources from people who understand but I can never find it in real life. I'm always alone in real life and I feel like more is expected of me that I can put up with. People want me to act like the 22-year-old that I am but at times I feel like it's hard to even be alive. I know my dad loves me... and I love him too... but that doesnt take away the pain he caused. :( No trust, no control- I feel exactly that way.

“Instead, they are made to feel like something is wrong with them, the victims, instead of holding the perpetrators accountable.” My family is doing that to me. Only my sister really has any faith in what I’m saying.

It seems like on the internet I can find resources from people who understand but I can never find it in real life. I’m always alone in real life and I feel like more is expected of me that I can put up with. People want me to act like the 22-year-old that I am but at times I feel like it’s hard to even be alive.

I know my dad loves me… and I love him too… but that doesnt take away the pain he caused. :(

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